It’s time for the Valentine’s Day lottery once again. What are the odds that this time your lover/mate/date will finally get it right? if you find this game unpleasant, unfair or too passive, read on.
There are ways to celebrate each other that don’t involve unspoken expectations, lame greeting cards and surprises that may or may not impress. Surprises are just fine if they’re not desperate or last-minute or dependent on large outlays of scarce cash.
here are a few romantic suggestions for those of you who live and love on Cape Ann or the North Shore. They don’t cost a lot of money, they take advantage of the splendor that is our home, and they require shared activity and togetherness.
Romance is close by. all you have to do is take each other’s hand and step outside. We are blessed with beauty at every turn. on Tuesday, Feb. 14, however, there is a difference. We will be mindful about what we see and do. And we will move. Physical activity gets the blood flowing to our essential organs, beginning with the brain.
Romantic morning walk: Get up a little earlier on Tuesday and head outside. Some would argue that the North Shore is at its best at sunrise. Good Harbor Beach in Gloucester or the Headlands in Rockport are beautiful bonding locales. Skip coffee at home. instead, stop by one of the many wonderful coffee shops on the first leg of your walk. since this is a day of extravagant indulgences, treat your lover to coffee and a pastry. Get the coffee to go and head along the right of way that joins the Headlands to Marmion way. Ravenswood in Gloucester is always magnificent but be careful not to stray from the main trails if you have to get to work on time. Or simply stroll through town, window shop and greet your neighbors. Hold hands! And look for signs of spring. Collect a handful of shells or handsome stones or twisty bits of driftwood and use them as a centerpiece, along with candles, for your romantic evening meal at home. Bring them out on date nights to come to signal a turn toward romance.
Work out together: Bring your lover to your gym and work out on abutting treadmills or take a yoga class together. if you’re both runners, take a quiet run together after work as you listen to each other’s footsteps and breathing. if you prefer the gym, most have guest passes. Cool down with a bottle of water while you and your lover feel the endorphins wash over you. many gyms have viewing areas that overlook their pools. this is a nice place to cool down.
It’s time for the Valentine’s Day lottery once again. What are the odds that this time your lover/mate/date will finally get it right? if you find this game unpleasant, unfair or too passive, read on.
There are ways to celebrate each other that don’t involve unspoken expectations, lame greeting cards and surprises that may or may not impress. Surprises are just fine if they’re not desperate or last-minute or dependent on large outlays of scarce cash.
here are a few romantic suggestions for those of you who live and love on Cape Ann or the North Shore. They don’t cost a lot of money, they take advantage of the splendor that is our home, and they require shared activity and togetherness.
Romance is close by. all you have to do is take each other’s hand and step outside. We are blessed with beauty at every turn. on Tuesday, Feb. 14, however, there is a difference. We will be mindful about what we see and do. And we will move. Physical activity gets the blood flowing to our essential organs, beginning with the brain.
Romantic morning walk: Get up a little earlier on Tuesday and head outside. Some would argue that the North Shore is at its best at sunrise. Good Harbor Beach in Gloucester or the Headlands in Rockport are beautiful bonding locales. Skip coffee at home. instead, stop by one of the many wonderful coffee shops on the first leg of your walk. since this is a day of extravagant indulgences, treat your lover to coffee and a pastry. Get the coffee to go and head along the right of way that joins the Headlands to Marmion way. Ravenswood in Gloucester is always magnificent but be careful not to stray from the main trails if you have to get to work on time. Or simply stroll through town, window shop and greet your neighbors. Hold hands! And look for signs of spring. Collect a handful of shells or handsome stones or twisty bits of driftwood and use them as a centerpiece, along with candles, for your romantic evening meal at home. Bring them out on date nights to come to signal a turn toward romance.
Work out together: Bring your lover to your gym and work out on abutting treadmills or take a yoga class together. if you’re both runners, take a quiet run together after work as you listen to each other’s footsteps and breathing. if you prefer the gym, most have guest passes. Cool down with a bottle of water while you and your lover feel the endorphins wash over you. many gyms have viewing areas that overlook their pools. this is a nice place to cool down.
Sexy movie: Get your sexy movies in advance from your local library or plan to stream them, but decide together (perhaps the weekend before) what you both want to see. “Don’t Look now,” made in 1973 and starring Julie Christie and Donald Sutherland, remains one of the sexiest, non-pornographic movies ever made. “The Dancer Upstairs” starring Javier Bardem is thrilling and Bardem is hot. Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone are amazing in “Crazy Stupid Love,” a movie both men and women will enjoy. make movie night extra special with champagne or good beer to accompany homemade popcorn with extra butter. Simple pleasures! my favorite popcorn recipe, courtesy of mark Bittman: ¼ cup organic popcorn; ¼ teaspoon salt; 2 teaspoons peanut oil (unrefined, expeller pressed, available at whole Foods, is best. Coconut oil, available at Trader Joe’s, is also delicious). put everything into a brown paper lunch bag, fold it twice and microwave for 2 or 3 minutes.
Read to each other over candlelight: Talking about romance and reading romantic stories (a k a erotica) is an aphrodisiac that stimulates the brain. take a walk to the library or one of our local bookstores the weekend before Valentine’s Day with your mate and look for pieces to read to each other. if you’re lucky, you might find (or order in advance) “The Literary Lover” edited by Larry Dark (Viking, 1993). my favorite story in the collection is “Jewel of the Moon” by William Kotzwinkle (who wrote “E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial”). Newer books: Erica Jong’s “Sugar in my Bowl” and “Hos, Hookers, call Girls, and Rent Boys” edited by David Henry Sterry both received good reviews, but they won’t be for everyone. Shakespeare’s love sonnets will not let you down. this exercise will be the most fun if each of you brings something to read. keep your selection a secret until Tuesday night.
Mood music: Also in advance of Valentine’s Day, each of you makes a playlist of favorite music for listening and dancing. if you’d like, turn it into something special by recording it onto a CD, making a label, and presenting it as a gift. on Tuesday, crank up the music, turn down the lights, dance and romance.
Cocktails and appetizers: Valentine’s Day is not, in fact, a day for a heavy meal. consider a celebration of appetizers and cocktails. do as much prep work on the weekend — together — as possible so that you can come home from work on Tuesday, pull everything out of the fridge, and mix cocktails. Easy appetizer platter: roasted root veggies, grapes, olives, cheese, crackers, chocolate. For an excellent martini recipe, visit raefrancoeur.com and go to the recreation page. if you have to go to work Wednesday, drink only one.
Play hooky from work and throw an indoor picnic: Indulge yourselves for a day by taking a lovers’ vacation day. upon waking, create an agenda for your day of togetherness and try to follow it. maybe you’ll start off with a morning stroll or a long lounge in bed. Breakfast in bed is definitely an option. Watch a scary movie. Shop for an evening indoor picnic with the purchase of prepared items like chicken wings, coleslaw and salad. Spread the food in front of the fireplace or a picture window or a romantic movie and enjoy.
make each other Valentine’s Day cards and write each other sexy notes in them. go to one of the local department stories and buy some markers, card stock, glitter, etc. Or, better yet, collect what you already have around the house. Compile it all and have it ready for Valentine’s Day evening when you sit with your lover, glasses of champagne and special chocolates you’ve selected together. put on some music and write each other love letters that you decorate. if you or your man isn’t into this, make each other video love letters and play them to each other as you have your second glass of champagne.
Start a blog together: “He said/She said” or any variation thereof where each of you writes a paragraph sharing your thoughts about romance, each other, and fun ideas to share with others for date night. go public with this and post to it every date night. it takes 10 minutes and it’s a chronicle of your (we hope) lasting love.
Which leads to the final entry.
Don’t stop here. Build a date night into your routine and use this exercise as the start of something much more suited to your tastes and levels of spontaneity.
take back Valentine’s Day! make it personal. make it matter.
Rae Padilla Francoeur’s memoir, “Free Fall: a Late-in-Life Love Affair,” is available online or in bookstores. Write her at . Or read her blog at freefallrae.blogspot.com/ or follow her @RaeAF.
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